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Farewell 2013

2013 was quite the year.  I started it off just like any other year.  I was in love with my boyfriend and eager to spend another year with each other.  We had our little home together with Muhka.  We had a great group of friends and our amazing families.  We had a great life together.  Weekend trips, dinner parties, movie dates - everything was great.

Summer came and on it's way out it left with a bang.  My relationship was over.  My life - how I was used to it, was over.  It took awhile for me to move on and get back to a "new normal", a new me.  If you've kept up and read my previous posts you already know where I'm going with this and what I'm going to say... surrounding yourself with loved ones in hard times help make those hard times turn into easier and happier times.  I'm unbelievably blessed to have everyone in my life who has helped me take those steps towards happiness.

So 2013, you started off great, had a rough middle, and are ending better than ever.  I now have a new love of my life... myself!  I'm finally learning to love myself, the good, bad, hostile, happy, sad and always clumsy parts of myself.  And I'm learning that other people love those parts about me too.  I'm very excited to see where 2014 leads me and who comes in and out of my life throughout my journey.  Cheers 2013, thank you for helping me grow up, learn to love, and learn to live.  Thank you, for everything.

My New Years Resolution: To live my life as beautifully and boldly as I can!

"Rocky Mountain High"

The Sunday after my birthday my parents dropped me off at the airport and I headed off to Colorado to continue my birthday celebrations.  26, flying for the first time alone, going to Colorado for the first time - I feel like a whole new woman!  Flying by myself was a breeze, I  just had to pay attention a little more than I usually do.  I arrived in Denver around noon and was instantly greeted by Jonny!!!  I was ready for whatever he and Colorado had to throw my way, I wanted to explore, see as much as I could, and take in all the beauty Colorado has to offer.

He lives and works in Boulder.  We spent one day driving and walking around his city.  It was adorable and I instantly fell in love.  Surrounding the entire city as far as you can see are the Rocky Mountains.  Calenders, post cards, and the Internet do not do these Mountain's justice - they are absolutely breath taking.  We drove up a mountain that is essentially across from his apartment to get some timeless pictures.  It was cold, windy, snowy, icy and extremely sketchy but the pictures were well worth it!

We spent Tuesday in Denver.  We took the bus from Boulder which was barely a 30 min ride.  What a clean and beautiful city!  We walked all around, even to some places Jonny had never really been too before either.  We stopped at Coors Field and looked through the gates at the field.  I have to say Denver, you have some interesting street art.  My top favorites would have to be: the over sized blue bear that's staring into the Colorado Convention Center and then the enormous random red chair with a pony on it in front of the Denver Public Library... enjoy.

Then we headed over towards the Pepsi Center.  We ate a bar/restaurant right next door and then headed over a little early to the Avalanche game to watch warm ups.  I have never been early for a hockey game to see the warm ups and it was AWESOME.  I was in constant contact with Steven to find out players he liked or disliked and I went right up to the glass to get their attention and pictures of course! Helloooo boysss...

The Avalanche unfortunately did not win.  But it was a great time and it made me remember just how much I enjoy hockey games - you got me hooked Jonny!  After the game we headed back to the bus station and back to Boulder.  It was an awesome day spent in Denver and we did a lot of walking!

The next day our end goal was Breckenridge!  We started there and made a stop on the way to the Red Rocks Amphitheatre.  And man oh man was that a beautiful venue.  We got to walk down to the stage and then we did a walk through their Performers Hall of Fame display.

Then we continued on our way to Breckenridge.  Breckenridge was beautiful.  The town looked like a snow globe.  We parked the car and walked around the main strip of shops, restaurants, bars, and coffee shops.  We stopped for lunch and had an amazing meal.  Then we walked towards one of the ski lift/gondolas.  This is a huge skiing/snowboarding town - for a second it made me wish we were there for that reason, just for a second and then I remembered how uncoordinated I am and why I don't do outdoor winter sports. 

On our way home, we stopped at a pull off spot and took my favorite picture of my trip...

We spent my last night in Colorado at Jonny's job, Shine Restaurant & Gathering.  I got to meet more of his friends out there and we hung out at the bar and had a couple drinks.  It was the perfect ending to the perfect getaway.

Overall, I fell head over heels in love with the state of Colorado.  My pictures and words do not do the state justice.  It is truly one of the most beautiful places I have ever been.  I asked Jonny if he ever gets tired or sick of seeing the mountains every day, his response was no - and after being out there and seeing them for myself, I totally understand his response.  How could anyone get sick of seeing them!  A big thank you to Jonny for hosting me and putting up with my for 4 days!  I totally experienced my own Rocky Mountain High while out there, everywhere you look, is unbelievably beautiful and breath taking.  I hope to one day move out there so I can enjoy the beautiful state everyday!

26 Years Young

Happy Birthday to meeee!  I turned 26 on December 6th and it was the best birthday I've had in a really long time.  I have the absolute best friends and family a girl could ask for.  These past few months have been kind of a whirl-wind and I know I wouldn't be where I am now without them all - and they all made this birthday unbelievable special for me - so thank you all, no words can express the love I have for you all.

The birthday celebrations started on Thursday the 5th, where Mikey and Tyler took Jeanine and I out for our birthdays - Happy Birthday Beansie!  The boys took us out to dinner at D'Raymonds where we all had a delicious dinner!  Then we came back to my place where we exchanged gifts and Mikey surprised us with delicious goodies for dessert!  It was a great start to my birthday!

The next day was my actual birthday.  My parents showed up at work with a bouquet of balloons and a new pair of boots - they know me well.  After work Rachel, Anna, and Caitlin took me out to Red Robin for big, juicy, greasy burgers.  Afterwards we headed home quick to change and then to meet the boys at Husain's place to continue the birthday celebrations.   I was surprised with a PURPLE funfetti cake on top of the boys all dressing up in purple and supplying purple plates and cups - thanks guys!  The boys also surprised me with a HUMONGOUS assortment of cheesecake!

The best part about celebrating birthdays is that friends, old and new come together to celebrate!  More friends showed up to dance, drink, and be merry!  Then we took a group shot (or 10 haha) and then headed out to go out dancing some more. 

We went to Stout and danced the night away!  Steven and Heather met us there and the whole group of us had a great time.  Because I love Husain SO MUCH - I agreed to take a birthday shot for him - for those of you who don't know, I don't drink.  Why? Oh, it's because I suck at it.  I'm so thankful and blessed for every single one of you!  The last thing my wonderful friends did was to make me a homemade blackboard birthday card!

Saturday evening my parents, Steven, Heather, Caitlin, Rachel, and Anna all gathered for my family dinner celebrations at the usual birthday spot, Four Brothers.  We all laughed and ate... a lot.  We ordered greek salads and pizzas for all!  It was perfect. 

I am so lucky to have these wonderful people in my life.  I would like to thank each and every one of you for making my birthday better than I could have ever imagined.  You all helped make the beginning of 26 the best it could be.  I'm looking forward to a year full of happiness and love thanks to all of you!  xoxoxo

25 Things I Learned at 25

Twenty-five.  25.  That's how old I am, but it's coming to an end because tomorrow is my birthday.  I was trying to think of a witty tell-all of my year at 25, but I came up short.  So instead I'd like to share 25 things I've learned at 25 with you...

1. Life goes on.  
2. It's hard to fall in love, but it's just as hard to fall out of love.
3. Surround yourself with happy, positive, and loving people - you will in return become those things also.
4. True friends will support you no matter what your decision may be.
5. Keep close with your family, and do not take them for granted.
6. Find ways to turn negative experiences into positive ones.
7. Never regret.
8. You're never too old for a slumber party with your girlfriends.
9. Dogs really are (hu)mans best friend.
10. Don't sit back and watch the world go by without you... get up, get dressed, get out there and start living!
11. There are no mistakes, just bumps in the road.
12. Laughing is the best medicine.
13. Love, a lot.
14. Find what makes you happy, and do it as often as possible.
15. Read, write, explore - repeat.
16. Splurge on yourself every once in awhile, you deserve it.
17. Dance every second you get the chance.
18. Let your emotions flow, whether they're positive or negative.
19. Make memories.
20. Life's better with music, find your soundtrack and play it every second of everyday.
21. Smile a lot, it's contagious.
22. Don't speed through life, take time to stop and look around and enjoy the ride.
23. A hug can brighten up your darkest days, don't take them for granted.
24. Be brave, fearless and unstoppable.
25. Be true to yourself always because you're perfect and beautiful in every way.

The most important thing I can share that I've learned is that once you learn to love yourself, everything else will start to fall into place.  So look in the mirror and smile, because you're beautiful and you have no idea how many people love you... <3 

Was It Worth The Pain?

I'd like to start this entry off by having you read this article:

The Most Important Question You Can Ask Yourself Today...

... Now that you've read the entire article and the wheels in your head are turning (you're welcome), here's where this article has left me...

I've recently been thinking about all the pain I felt after my break up... for the first time ever in my life I felt what real "heart-ache" feels like.  It was awful.  It hurt more than words could ever describe.  My heart literally hurt, I can remember holding onto my chest in pain thinking this was the worst pain I've ever felt - and I was right.

The article asks What Pain Do You Want? - Being able to look back on it now and remember just how painful it was and the dark place it took me too... it wasn't worth it.  For me, the pain was not worth it, and the fact that I can see that now is really helping me heal. 

I'm not saying I regret the relationship or anything at all like that, it's actually the exact opposite.  It was an amazing 6 years together, but at the end, for me... the pain was just not worth it.

I shared these realizations that I came to with a friend and then decided to share them with all of you also.  I know my past entries I've really been pushing for you all to enjoy your journeys, because that's what is important and I still whole-heartedly believe that...

I imagine this will be a journey that doesn't necessarily "end" but that transforms into something new and exciting for me... 

I hope you all stick around to see where it leads me to next... xoxo.

How Do You Know?

We've all heard it before... Once you've hit rock bottom, there's no where to go but up... but how do you know when you've hit rock bottom? - How do you know you won't tumble farther down?  How do you know that where you are right now in your life isn't the high point?  What will happen to change your life?  Will anything ever happen to change your life?  You can drive yourself crazy with all the questions you could form from that one statement...  

I know I have... am... and will probably always.

Rock Bottom... it's just such a vague thought.  Does anybody actually ever hit rock bottom? - Besides the occasional out-spurt of negativity "My life is the worst, it will never get better! Wahhhh why me?!, blah blah blah" I think that life isn't all about your lowest and highest points, it's about those and everything in between, it's about the journey.

I'm completely guilty with the whole poor me saga.  Been there, done that.  But who hasn't?  To me it's another part of life.  It's the part where you feel bad for yourself and the people around you, family and friends, help you understand it's not the end of the world and that things will get better - but that's the key right there... things will get better WHEN you decide to make them better.  Now, I'm no pro, I'm still in the whole process of making things better for myself now, and it's not easy.

Unfortunately it is a lot easier to feel bad for yourself then to do something to change it.  There's nothing wrong with taking baby steps but you want to make sure these baby steps are all going in the same direction - forward!    

I've recently learned how much I love giving and sharing advice.  I do, I absolutely love it.  I love when friends come to me with dilemma's or questions and I share my knowledge and do my best to help them understand or get through whatever they need.  As much as I love being there for other people, I absolutely hate taking advice.  I'm no good at it.  Which makes me wonder how the people I give advice to can take it without a fuss.  Am I that stubborn? - Perhaps.

I think my current journey has lead me to a dead-end of sorts.  I suppose dead-end isn't the right term, more of a detour to where I'm supposed to be going and where I will be.  And because of this detour, I blame my stubbornness on.  I'm at a crossroads between having to completely let go of my old life that I was so used to for years and moving forward and taking that big step towards my new life. - And that's a very scary thought!

My purpose for this entry is unknown, haha.  I guess it's to share with others that they are not alone.  We're all at crossroads, some are just more defined which direction we should take than others.  Other's we need a little more time to process things before we can pick a road to go down.  Also, nothing is the end of the world, nothing is complete rock bottom, and things do get better when you want them too and when you're ready for them too.  

So take your time and figure everything out.
Enjoy your journey, the good and the bad.

Make sure you're happy and healthy...
... and then when you're ready... take that first step forward.