Was It Worth The Pain?

I'd like to start this entry off by having you read this article:

The Most Important Question You Can Ask Yourself Today...

... Now that you've read the entire article and the wheels in your head are turning (you're welcome), here's where this article has left me...

I've recently been thinking about all the pain I felt after my break up... for the first time ever in my life I felt what real "heart-ache" feels like.  It was awful.  It hurt more than words could ever describe.  My heart literally hurt, I can remember holding onto my chest in pain thinking this was the worst pain I've ever felt - and I was right.

The article asks What Pain Do You Want? - Being able to look back on it now and remember just how painful it was and the dark place it took me too... it wasn't worth it.  For me, the pain was not worth it, and the fact that I can see that now is really helping me heal. 

I'm not saying I regret the relationship or anything at all like that, it's actually the exact opposite.  It was an amazing 6 years together, but at the end, for me... the pain was just not worth it.

I shared these realizations that I came to with a friend and then decided to share them with all of you also.  I know my past entries I've really been pushing for you all to enjoy your journeys, because that's what is important and I still whole-heartedly believe that...

I imagine this will be a journey that doesn't necessarily "end" but that transforms into something new and exciting for me... 

I hope you all stick around to see where it leads me to next... xoxo.

How Do You Know?

We've all heard it before... Once you've hit rock bottom, there's no where to go but up... but how do you know when you've hit rock bottom? - How do you know you won't tumble farther down?  How do you know that where you are right now in your life isn't the high point?  What will happen to change your life?  Will anything ever happen to change your life?  You can drive yourself crazy with all the questions you could form from that one statement...  

I know I have... am... and will probably always.

Rock Bottom... it's just such a vague thought.  Does anybody actually ever hit rock bottom? - Besides the occasional out-spurt of negativity "My life is the worst, it will never get better! Wahhhh why me?!, blah blah blah" I think that life isn't all about your lowest and highest points, it's about those and everything in between, it's about the journey.

I'm completely guilty with the whole poor me saga.  Been there, done that.  But who hasn't?  To me it's another part of life.  It's the part where you feel bad for yourself and the people around you, family and friends, help you understand it's not the end of the world and that things will get better - but that's the key right there... things will get better WHEN you decide to make them better.  Now, I'm no pro, I'm still in the whole process of making things better for myself now, and it's not easy.

Unfortunately it is a lot easier to feel bad for yourself then to do something to change it.  There's nothing wrong with taking baby steps but you want to make sure these baby steps are all going in the same direction - forward!    

I've recently learned how much I love giving and sharing advice.  I do, I absolutely love it.  I love when friends come to me with dilemma's or questions and I share my knowledge and do my best to help them understand or get through whatever they need.  As much as I love being there for other people, I absolutely hate taking advice.  I'm no good at it.  Which makes me wonder how the people I give advice to can take it without a fuss.  Am I that stubborn? - Perhaps.

I think my current journey has lead me to a dead-end of sorts.  I suppose dead-end isn't the right term, more of a detour to where I'm supposed to be going and where I will be.  And because of this detour, I blame my stubbornness on.  I'm at a crossroads between having to completely let go of my old life that I was so used to for years and moving forward and taking that big step towards my new life. - And that's a very scary thought!

My purpose for this entry is unknown, haha.  I guess it's to share with others that they are not alone.  We're all at crossroads, some are just more defined which direction we should take than others.  Other's we need a little more time to process things before we can pick a road to go down.  Also, nothing is the end of the world, nothing is complete rock bottom, and things do get better when you want them too and when you're ready for them too.  

So take your time and figure everything out.
Enjoy your journey, the good and the bad.

Make sure you're happy and healthy...
... and then when you're ready... take that first step forward.